LOVE SCAMS — THE ULTIMATE LOVE BETRAYAL

Conversation between a former Special Agent and a Relationship Coach to guide men and women on money scams, when dating.

We all have a need to be loved. It is a beautiful and profound emotion. Being in a loving relationship can give you a sense of well-being and purpose.

Many are still looking for that meaningful relationship. Remember meeting someone at the grocery store or getting connected with someone at some conference or a meeting or getting some sparks flying talking to someone at an airport that you end up exchanging numbers. But during these pandemic times, it has become a challenge. We have masks on our faces and trying to keep a distance. Social interactions have plummeted.

So to help people find love, a lot of online dating sites are becoming popular especially because of fear of COVID-19 we are not able to fully be out there physically to meet a potential love interest. And I have to say, quite a few are finding love on these sites. But like anything else, people find ways to abuse it.

“In my experience as a law enforcement officer, I have seen many incidents of people, looking for love falling with the ‘wrong people’ like the lyrics in the song “I turned to stranger like a friend”, the lovelorn feel hopeless or unworthy so the first time someone pays attention to them in any way or any medium they immediately grab on tight with both hands and ignore any red flags. The scammers realize this and take full advantage of their prey. I had one case where a wealthy elderly gentleman befriended a young woman online and he gave her over a quarter of a million dollars without ever meeting her. The investigation revealed that the woman in question was actually a man and was sending the gentlemen pictures of different women he downloaded from the internet.

“And as I was talking to Sonali, she told me how people come to her with their horrible stories of betrayal mostly involving money. The heart wants what the heart wants, however, sometimes this can be over the objection of the brain. When emotions are involved I have observed numerous people disregard common sense. For example, there was a case involving a male who befriended an elderly woman who had lived alone for many years.

The male who we will call (Bill) expressed his love for this woman and convinced her that he (Bill) should have power of attorney regarding her financial affairs in case of emergency. Once this happened Bill sold the woman’s home, emptied her bank account, and stole her identity. Unfortunately, the woman never saw or heard from Bill again.”

“Incidentally, most of my broken hearted clients were women. These men are so charming, Jeff that these women totally fell head over heels over them. They made sure that the women they were talking to were emotionally involved before they requested money. They made every possible excuse not to see them. They also stole other people’s identity from the internet and sent the photos to make it look real.”

“So my tip that I tell my clients would be, go slow. Just be mindful if the guy is too quick to say he is in love with you and wants to marry you. Before you go for your first date, Facetime or whatever video chatting app you use to see if he is the same person he is claiming to be. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Dig in. There is nothing wrong in doing a little bit of your own online research on that person. Better be safe than sorry.”

“Another quick tip, be careful when someone asks you questions that are usually asked as security questions for forgotten login details. For example, your mother’s maiden name etc.”

“Scammers know no barriers such as sex, ethnicity, financial status, etc.”

“The top three on-line love scammer vocations are oil rig worker, member of the military or physician for an international organization. The scams usually start off with a request for a small amount of money or gift card. The scammer is testing you to see how much they can get away with. Sometimes they will say it is for custom fees, a visa, or travel documents. In some cases, they may pay you back these small fees to gain your trust and then request a large sum of money for medical procedures, a plane ticket to come see you, car repairs, etc. Once they receive the funds they are like the title of the movie “Gone Baby Gone”.

The first time you send them something of value in any form they know they got you! What they do next is go prospecting for more gold. They see how much gold they can get from you before they move on to another gold mine.”

“When I asked these women if they reported it to the site or the police, they hadn’t, because of the fear. They feel ashamed and embarrassed what others and their family is going to think or say which I can totally understand coming from a culture where dating and on top of that online dating carries a bad reputation and is considered a stigma”.

“That is exactly what happened with these two women that I talked with. They were “so in love” that these men asked for more and more and when these women finally realized what was going on, they were like what you said, “gone baby gone.”

“People are being deceived right, left and center. My clients come to me with so much disappointment and grief. It is sad to see what is going on. It makes me angry sometimes. Love is supposed to be true and beautiful.”

“That is your idealistic belief in love talking. It is different in the real world.”

“I am seeing it now in my coaching business. I used to hear these stories happening to people but now I am listening to them firsthand. My mission is to save and protect as many as I can.”

“Alright, let’s all work together to protect each other enlighten and empower others in need so they can protect themselves from nefarious people.”

About Co-author, Jeff Scribner — Jeff is a former Special Agent, certified in elder abuse investigations and United States Deputy Marshal. As a Special Agent Jeff was responsible for investigating patient abuse, healthcare fraud and financial crimes impacting the elder population. He was instrumental in investigating and prosecuting one of the first Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) cases involving a healthcare provider. As a Deputy US Marshal Jeff was assigned to the United States Marshal’s Service Witness Protection Program where he was responsible for ensuring the physical safety of numerous federal witnesses.

He is also a certified Compliance Officer, Privacy Officer, Risk Manager, and licensed Private Investigator, he may be reached at www.assuremom.com/jscribner@assuremom.com/561-614-6512.