HOW MUCH QUALITY TIME DO YOU SPEND WITH YOUR SPOUSE?

Most of the people find it challenging to find a balance in their relationships when it comes to how much time do they devote to professional work and for each other. There is no set rule regarding time. Each person has different needs, wants, and desires.

It is not the quantity, it is the quality how you spend your time together that counts.

To avoid the conflicts, make sure to communicate to your partner that spending quality time is extremely important to you.

There are gender differences how men and women see time differently in relationships. For many men, just spending time together is “enough.” Not so for women.

You can plan and schedule a time of the day if one of you or both of you are too busy with work, children, household chores etc. Go out, just the two of you if you can.

After you have children, they take your top priority. But remember, you and your partner are extremely important as well. A very common example to explain this better would be; in a flight you are asked to put an oxygen mask on you first and then your child.

If your children are small, and if you can, arrange for a sitter whether they are your parents, nanny or a friend.

If that is a challenge, you can plan it at home in your own personal space after you put your children away to bed or first thing in the morning when kids are still asleep.

You gotto do what you gotto do. You cannot give excuses there is no time. If you want something badly, you will find time.

At the same time, communicate when you need to spend time with yourself and do the things that you love to do.

It helps you to connect with yourself and then you are able to make a deeper connection with your partner. Sometimes having time with yourself and others gives you clarity and gain a new perspective and not influenced by your partner alone. It does not create an unhealthy codependent behavior.

Alone-time ensures that you do not lose sight of your own identity as you alone are the source of your own happiness. Having boundaries in a relationship are healthy and important to keeping it strong and successful.

According to Teresa Newsome, a Domestic Violence Victim Advocate and Planned Parenthood Certified Responsible Sexuality Educator, “spending a lot of time together cause you to lose sight of yourself and to put way too much of your identity into your relationship. They lead to low self-esteem, poor decision making, giving up your goals, and even enabling.”

Ideally, do your own thing, let your partner do their thing and then do things together. It keeps the relationship balanced.

So, what are those things you can do to spend quality time with your partner?

Be an attentive listener — Active listening is one of the most loving things you can do for your partner but try to avoid offering advice. Give it only when asked. Partners who find quality time particularly important want to be heard and empathized.

Remove all distractions — Choose your partner over tv, phone and other tech gadgets.

Date your partner — Make dating and flirting with each other a part of your routine.

Try new things together — In addition to doing and pursuing your hobbies and interests solo, try some different activities with your partner.

“Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.”

Appreciate each other — Keep few minutes a day to express appreciation for each other.

Physical Affection — Make it a part and parcel of your relationship. Express your love in a physical manner. It does not have to be sexual but touching, hand-holding, cuddling etc. when you are causally talking or watching tv or walking in a mall.

Spending quality has so many benefits. And some of them, to say the least are:

• It keeps the relationship alive
• Improves emotional, mental, and physical intimacy
• Lowers divorce rates
• Helps to cope with occasional stressful moments
• Bonds couples closer
• Improves friendship
• Boosts health
• Prevents Co-dependence

Now, I have a question for you. Take out all these benefits out of your relationship. Tell me what is left behind? Nothing. You see, how spending quality time with each other is essential for you both.

You and your partner deserve more from your relationship. Do what you need to do to keep it strong and healthy.

If you need some help to achieve your goal to spend quality time with your partner, schedule a discovery call with me and we will go from there.

Originally published at https://www.lovelifecoachxo.com on October 22, 2020.