5 WAYS TO CONNECT WITH YOUR WORKAHOLIC PARTNER

When your partner is working long hours, it can put tremendous stress on your marriage/relationship. Maintaining a balance becomes a challenge then. It can lead to suspicions, jealousy, feelings of anger and disappointment or a belief that you are not important.

“According to data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, many jobs demand longer hours. Truck drivers can work up to 60 hours a week. Real-estate brokers and sales agents often work more than 40 hours a week logging many of those hours in the evening and on weekends to accommodate their clients. Many physicians and surgeons put in long hours with irregular shifts and overnight hours. Entrepreneurs and executives can work every waking hour trying to make a business profitable.”

Generally speaking, men more than women place high value on their professional success. But it is getting common lately that women are spending more time on their careers to fulfill their ambition.

Depending on how fulfilled they are in that area influences their personal relationships.

So how do we handle this situation?

You can do a few things to make it better for you and your partner:

Communicate your concerns — Talk to your partner in a compassionate manner and let them know how their long working hours make you feel. Communicate in a non-complaining and non-dramatic way. Because you don’t want to put pressure and guilt on your partner. That will shut them down.

Ask your partner how they feel about their long hours at work and not able to spend quality time with you or what goals do they want to achieve through their work?

If you get your partner’s perspective on how passionate and focused they are on their career, you will see the benefit in that enthusiasm. “When my client loves what they do professionally, that joy and fulfillment ripples through their relationships and results in positive outcomes”, tells Katherine Agostino, an Executive Coach.

These questions and getting your partner’s perspective will help you understand and develop intimacy that can strengthen your emotional connection.

Schedule some time for just you two — It is quality over quantity. Sit together and brainstorm ways to find time when your partner can pay attention only to you, for example, setting day and time to go on a date or going on a day trip somewhere etc. Engage in activities or discussion topics that make you both happy, relaxed, enlighten and laugh.

Don’t lose focus on yourself — Whenever you feel neglected by your partner, you will start to demand more attention which may make you look like a needy or a clingy person. So make sure you do not lose yourself. Don’t think that you need to do everything with a partner and that real happiness comes only from being with them.

Do the things you love to do and never get enough time. Or explore and discover some new hobbies that are enriching to your life. Find your own happiness spots. It is not healthy to depend on your partner all the time. Hang out with your friends and family.

Motivate your partner by appreciation — Compliment your partner every single time they take time out to be with you. By doing this, you will give your partner motivation to want to do this again, because they can see how happy it made you.

Find the Positive — Be positive in your approach, and you will see receiving the same from your partner as a result.

Praise on your partner’s accomplishments. We all love to feel valued and like when our partners are proud of us, don’t we? So, the more there are positive interactions, the more time your partner is going to want to spend with you.

When you look at the bigger picture, you will have a better perspective and you will come up with some amicable solution or find a middle ground which can bring the stress level down in your relationship.

Seek professional help. Schedule a session with me if you feel overwhelmed and not sure where to start from with your workaholic partner. Many times, partners don’t know and realize the enormity of an issue and the effect it has on you and the relationship.

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